I Married a Sex Offender

This story resonated with me on so many levels…
It was 1969, not 2001. I had just finished my sophomore year in high school. I was 16, and looking forward to cheer leading camp. It was a Saturday and my parents were gone and wouldn’t be returning until that night.

I was in love with a young man that I had dated throughout high school. A older friend (19) of his showed up at my house that day to inform me that the young man who I was in love with was seeing someone else. I was devastated.

He suggested that I have a drink (orange juice and vodka) to ease my pain. I had never drank before although my parents had a lot of alcohol in the house.

I really don’t remember anything after that. I don’t remember how many drinks I had.

A couple of months later, I didn’t even know that I was pregnant. It was my mother who recognized the symptoms. I was in shock, my life ruined. Abortion was illegal.

My father called on his brother, a well known sheriff. I overheard their conversation. My parents had assumed that the father was my long time boyfriend and I heard my uncle say, “Good thing the kid is still under 18, otherwise he’ll be going to jail”.

Knowing that I had disobeyed our house rules of no one allowed in while parents were away, knowing that I had been drinking, I felt that I was to blame and knowing that this person was over 18, I froze. I did not want any one going to jail.

One night, my parents put me in the car and drove to my (now ex-boyfriends parents house) When it was disclosed that he was not the father, my father dis-owned me for a while. I still would not disclose the truth, and my parents didn’t force me.

That year I went through unbelievable pain. I was ostracized. The parents of my friends would no longer allow them to speak to me. I was talked about, ridiculed, and made to feel like a leper. But, to this day I never called myself a victim. I never blamed anyone but myself.

There were decisions to be made. My parents sat me down and had honest discussions about how hard life is going to be. Do you put this child up for adoption? If you keep this child, what is life going to be like? My parents informed me that if I chose to keep this child, they would not be taking any responsibility, that all the responsibility would be mine.

I was pressured, not by my parents, but from the county, to put my child up for adoption. I could not.

So, I took the responsibility and survived. I could not for one minute imagine my life without this child. He has been the light of my life. I never blamed his father who he actually didn’t meet until after he was 21. And I never asked for a dime from anyone, nor received.

In 2003, my son met someone who said she was 19. When it was discovered that she was actually 15, he got angry and told this minor to never contact him again! (He had never called her, she got his number and called him).

He was arrested a year later when her mother discovered a letter that her daughter had written, but never sent, to my son. They had not had sex, but had contact.

You know the rest of the story…he fought the charges, only to have them add more when he refused to take a plea. He spent three years in prison.

So, I am so angry, I am so outraged…there are too many words…that my son and many like him have to suffer for the rest of his life for something that to me is so minor offense. Sorry, I can’t get myself to call that 15 year old who lied about her age a victim. I hope that her family, the prosecutor (who lied also) and the judge are happy that they ruined lives. I hope there is a special place for them in hell.